#21 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

Life is a JOURNEY... Not a guided tour!

#21 Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. I love, love, love this! For so very long I have been guilty of doing the same things over and over in an attempt to please everyone else. At work, at home, in relationships, in my life in general. Especially in the love life part of my life. For all of you "East Countiers" you know East County is intern-twined so tightly it is almost impossible to met someone who doesn't know someone. He's your friends ex, friend of a friend or connected in one way or another to a chapter in your life. I felt the only way to, "Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break." was to step out of the East County box!

I started blogging on January 1st with the intent to post daily about the "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself," and finish off the month learning about myself and taken the necessary steps forward to love me. I was not successful in getting through all 30 things within the month, as you can see since I am only on #21 after six months. LOL, okay it has taken a little longer than originally intended. In my defense, after so many years of doing the same things over and over, always for someone other than myself. It took a lot longer to honestly let go, and start feeling comfortable in doing things for me. I feel 100% confident in saying I have finally given it all up. I am doing things for me... Learning to love myself and embracing the future and all of its wondrous possibilities. It doesn't mean I have walked away from everyone or everything, throwing my hands up saying, "Not my problem any more, handle it yourself." It just means I have decided to work on making myself better. Taking more risks in the pursuit of bettering myself. Now looking at the glass half full all the time. Most importantly if I believe in something and someone else has negative input, I look at their concern as caring, for which I am truly grateful. But now I go with what is in my heart and move forward, not changing things just to make them happy. In the past that is exactly what I would do. Same thing over and over, never taking a breath. Always worrying about everyone's feelings and thoughts, not once thinking about me or trusting in myself enough to believe my thoughts were valid or that I deserved to be happy.

Remember this year my New Year resolution was "It's ALL about me!" It has taken me longer than I had expected or hoped it would take me to realize this to be factual. The recent turn of events in my life has made me open my eyes and my mind even wider and truly understand what that means to me. I posted a status on my FB page the other day I have come to love and decided to live by.

It took me over three years to get over my last relationship. Finally being able to walk away and move forward believing that there is someone else out there for me. Is it cliche to say, "Someone better. Someone who will love me for me." Yeah it might be? However, I decided to take the risk, explore the opportunities. See if there really could be someone out there for me. A step up to someone who would love me for who I am. And more important who would treat me like a true partner in life. Exploring and enjoying all of life's adventures together. Learning together what it means to live that perfectly balanced life... The happily ever-after as the fairy tales would say.

I stepped out of the box. Deciding to stop doing the same thing over and over, which was consistently running back. Belittling myself and begging PLEASE let me come home. How did I step out of the box? I finally listened to several of my friends who kept saying I should try online dating. I fought this idea for a long, long time. Nervous about the unknown. What if he's a freak? What if he's a serial killer? What if he's a liar? What if... What if... What if??? I mentioned previously the FB quote I posted, well here it is! "Sometimes you have to just take a chance in love and life. You can't live your life amongst a mound of "What IF's" You have to follow your ♥ and hope for the best!

The past couple weeks I have been happier than I can honestly say I have been in years... Maybe in my entire lifetime! Yet it has been a constant struggle too. Knowing what I feel in my ♥ of hearts, yet allowing the "what if's" to creep into my mind. Coupled by the overwhelming cautions, care and love I have been receiving from my friends. Not because they don't want me to be happy, only because they are true friends that care about me and my heart.

Do you believe in love at first sight... Okay so in today's world of technology, love at first chat? LOL, well here's the definition: Love at first sight: An instantaneous attraction to someone. Is it possible to fall head over heels or fall in love with someone that is only a picture, text message, chat online and a voice over the phone? Well I do believe in love at first sight, and luckily for me so does he :) Yes I hear everyone and appreciate all the comments. Believe me, even though you don't think I am listening, I am. Have I jumped off the deep end? Yeah a little LOL, however I am being cautious. Of course I want all the non-believers to be wrong. Looking forward to the neener-neener day ;) With today's social media things have changed a little. We meet different people in ways we are not accustomed to. And yes it does feel a bit strange. But there is nothing written anywhere, nor is there a hard fast rule that your first encounter has to be face to face.

Only time will tell... to be exact 288 hours and 35 minutes hahahahahaha. I will continue to look at the glass as half full. Remaining hopeful that I did meet my perfect match on match.com and this is just the beginning to a what is going to be two people working together to maintain a successful relationship for many years to come. It's easy to keep the faith, trust and believe that the possibilities are endless when you have a true Prince Charming giving you hope and insight to his needs, in his own words what his expectations are in life and love:
"Besides love, what one trait have you noticed in couples that have maintained a successful relationship for many years?"
My response, "Trust!" 
His response, "I don't think there is just one, I think there needs to be trust, laughter, honesty, passion...they really enjoy each other and laugh together and have fun together... it is trusting each other and being comfortable together... similar values and desires in life too...a willingness to share all of life's adventures...They work together as a team."
My response, "You said just one trait! LOL" 


This is only one of hundreds of conversations we have had. He is the perfect gentleman, passionate, caring and loving. Most important he cares about my kids too! So yeah I have jumped off the deep end. Wouldn't you? Hahahaha. I am also realistic and will agree he sounds too good to be true. If he shows up in San Diego on June 29th my first thought will be, See dreams can come true. If he doesn't show up I thank him for showing me that I can love again, it's not hopeless... And man that was a heck of a ride!!!

In the words of Tinkerbell :) "All you have to do is BELIEVE!!! All you need is faith, trust... and a little pixie dust."  Thanks for listening... that is all!!!