If You Had Just 1 Wish

You find a Genie lamp, 

You're only offered 1 wish

What is your wish?

If I could have just one wish…

I would wish to wake up every day to the sound of your breath on my neck,

the warmth of your lips on my cheek,

the touch of your fingers on my skin,

and the feel of your heart beating with mine...

Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you!

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous, or conceited, or proud; love is not ill-mannered, or selfish, or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up: its faith, hope and patience never fail." -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

#22 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”~ Nora Ephron 

#22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you. Everyone's definition of small and big are exactly the same. Funny thing though, while it is clearly defined what the visual difference is between small and big, when you refer to life events, the difference in the two definitions will vary from one extreme to the other. Why? Because there is a vast difference in perception of what one person thinks is a small moment vs. a big moment in one's life.

Learning to appreciate everything that comes our way in life is one of life's greatest pleasures and treasures. What is a small moment to me may be the biggest event ever in someone else's eyes and life, and vice-verse. One way to stop overlooking the beauty of the small moments is to stop being the victim! Drop the NEGATIVITY!!! Be thankful for the small things you do have in your life. Your life is not as bad as you think or want to make everyone else think... If someone has more than you that does not make your life any worse than there's.While money can buy you material things it CAN NOT buy you happiness no matter how much you think it can! Sure the material things are nice. However people with money have just as many problems as those of us who never seem to have enough. I could go on and on about stories we all hear in the media about this, that or the other person; the people who do have money. Their troubles are no worse than ours. In truth at times they are worse. True having a luxury car, big lavish home, clothes, being able to travel whenever and wherever or buy anything we want would all be great. But that is not the true meaning of happiness! Timothy 6:10 ~ For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 

I have learned over the past few weeks how a small thing can be the biggest moment ever in one's life experiences. Only a few pennies spent towards what is possibly the HAPPIEST moments in my life! With the exception of course the birth of my children. The most important thing is I am accepting the lesson, what it taught me and I am moving on. Remember the quote above, “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim,” and then chalk it up to life experience. Most of you know I decided to finally try the online dating thing. All I can say is WOW!!! LOL, yes I am not going to deny I went off the deep end, jumped in whole-heartedly and fell deeper than some of you think I should have! I disagree... This was a valuable life lesson and one I will cherish for a lifetime. YES, Prince Charming is most likely a FAKE! But even with that said, I am glad I had the opportunity to chat, text and talk with him. I am not ashamed to admit I fell in love with a picture. He has taught me so many life lessons in a very short time. Lessons that I must have needed to learn. I posted a pic on my FB page the other day once I finally realized I most likely have been the victim of a "Romance Scam" If God Answers Your Prayer, He is increasing your FAITH. If He Delays, He is increasing you PATIENCE. If He Doesn't Answer, He has something BETTER for you. All three of these I feel are very important and valuable life lessons. Faith, Patience and Better for me! Let's look at each lesson on it's own: 

Faith... You have to trust in yourself and if nothing else your first instinct or gut feeling! I was one of the lucky one's when it comes to the new wave of crime "Romance Scams." Believe it or not it is $17 billion dollar a year industry. I didn't fall off as deep as all of you think. I am not completely stupid. Yes I heard everyone's warnings and believe me I have spent countless hours searching hundreds of websites on the subject. What amazes me is the men and women that give up their entire life savings, sometimes in the 100's of thousands of dollars to someone they have never met face to face. Most of you will and can say all you want, "How dumb or desperate can these people be?" Take it from me first hand, dumb and desperate has nothing to do with it. Emotions are something we feel and we can not turn them off. NO MATTER how hard you try, it is impossible unless you don't have a heart. So if you are walking and breathing YOU have a heart! Remember this is a crime and the people doing the crime do this as their job, their lively hood and believe me they are very good at it!!! LMAO, yes I can laugh at the situation! I of course ended up with the one that doesn't bring up most of the red flags of the typical scammer. The scammer red flag characteristics can be broken down into 4 parts: First contact, communication skills, their habits and their inconsistencies. My Prince Charming met basically every red flag under the first contact category... ROTFLMAO but then so did I, and I am NOT a scammer!!! Okay maybe I am a little, I will admit his place of residence did raise an eyebrow and bring a glimmer of hope to the situation. He however does NOT meet any of the other 3 categories of the red flags. Go figure of course I end up with the BEST of the best, hahaha. Which is why I am not letting go just yet of the dream 100%... only 99.9% :) Lesson learned here is go with your first instinct and stick to it! However never loose faith in life or the "what if's" because sometimes miracles can and do happen... and since there is that 1/10% of if, or should I say IF. I will apologize now to Prince Charming since I have shared my blog with him and we have talked about it, so I know he has read it. I am sorry for doubting you. I have told you more than once it is difficult to believe you are who you say you are. Like we both say... Only time will tell


Patience... As far as virtues go this is not one of my best. I can be a total PEST to put it nicely. If you do not give me the answer I wan't when I ask for it! Prince Charming found this out the hard way, and so have most of you that know me too :) What I have learned is patience is not only kind, but it goes hand and hand with trust, one of my best virtues. I will trust you till the end of time; because I truly believe we all have good inside of us in some way or form. Grudges, negativity and hate are horrible emotions and will tear you apart slowly but surely from the inside out. So you have to trust with all your heart and be patient that one day everything will make sense and work out for the best!


Better for me... None of us have all the answers to life. No one EVER will. This is the most important lesson of all three. While I may be the victim of a romance scam; I will say like I did in my last post, THANK YOU Prince Charming! The road in my life for the past 3 1/2 years has been the bumpiest and I hope to never to go over it again. If you are who you say you are, you have promised I will not have to worry about traveling that road again. Before I met you I never thought I would find my way off that road. You got me off that road. You have taught me that I can get off that road simply by living, loving and laughing again. Enjoying every moment that comes my way! I have to look at this lesson as a happy place in my life. I love you! I have no choice but to look at it and you like that, otherwise the effects will be forever damaging. Don't get me wrong there is a huge piece of me that wishes you will knock on the door and be real. Reality is, I don't think it will EVER happen!!! I will give you credit, you are damn good at what you do. I have no regrets... I still believe with all my heart you can't live life on "what if's." LOL, stranger (insert Fbomb) things in life have happened and while I have managed to physically prove to myself you are a fake; you never know, you might just prove me wrong... AGAIN! You've done it every other time I have tried to doubt you. Still too many things add up. The positives definitely outweigh the negatives. Which is why I am at 1/10%  of faith and not quite ready to write you off completely as a fake. Hahaha, it's not like I have never copied and pasted a quote or saying to express something I was feeling. Back to our favorite saying...Only time will tell. If it does end up you are a fake you came into my life a gentleman and you to date have gone out the same way. In the mean time and facing reality, I do have to look at the whole picture. Maybe I will or won't venture back online to give it one more shot. This time a whole lot wiser and definitely grateful because you came in to my life :) Thank you and again... Time will tell

They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure, and how does it make you feel? 

The simplest pleasures in life are the one's most of us overlook or never realize they were in front of us. Don't close your eyes and let the little things pass you by. ENJOY and APPRECIATE every moment of the small things in life you never know when they may turn out to be the BIG moments! You honestly and truly can not put a price tag on HAPPINESS!!!

#21 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

Life is a JOURNEY... Not a guided tour!

#21 Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. I love, love, love this! For so very long I have been guilty of doing the same things over and over in an attempt to please everyone else. At work, at home, in relationships, in my life in general. Especially in the love life part of my life. For all of you "East Countiers" you know East County is intern-twined so tightly it is almost impossible to met someone who doesn't know someone. He's your friends ex, friend of a friend or connected in one way or another to a chapter in your life. I felt the only way to, "Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break." was to step out of the East County box!

I started blogging on January 1st with the intent to post daily about the "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself," and finish off the month learning about myself and taken the necessary steps forward to love me. I was not successful in getting through all 30 things within the month, as you can see since I am only on #21 after six months. LOL, okay it has taken a little longer than originally intended. In my defense, after so many years of doing the same things over and over, always for someone other than myself. It took a lot longer to honestly let go, and start feeling comfortable in doing things for me. I feel 100% confident in saying I have finally given it all up. I am doing things for me... Learning to love myself and embracing the future and all of its wondrous possibilities. It doesn't mean I have walked away from everyone or everything, throwing my hands up saying, "Not my problem any more, handle it yourself." It just means I have decided to work on making myself better. Taking more risks in the pursuit of bettering myself. Now looking at the glass half full all the time. Most importantly if I believe in something and someone else has negative input, I look at their concern as caring, for which I am truly grateful. But now I go with what is in my heart and move forward, not changing things just to make them happy. In the past that is exactly what I would do. Same thing over and over, never taking a breath. Always worrying about everyone's feelings and thoughts, not once thinking about me or trusting in myself enough to believe my thoughts were valid or that I deserved to be happy.

Remember this year my New Year resolution was "It's ALL about me!" It has taken me longer than I had expected or hoped it would take me to realize this to be factual. The recent turn of events in my life has made me open my eyes and my mind even wider and truly understand what that means to me. I posted a status on my FB page the other day I have come to love and decided to live by.

It took me over three years to get over my last relationship. Finally being able to walk away and move forward believing that there is someone else out there for me. Is it cliche to say, "Someone better. Someone who will love me for me." Yeah it might be? However, I decided to take the risk, explore the opportunities. See if there really could be someone out there for me. A step up to someone who would love me for who I am. And more important who would treat me like a true partner in life. Exploring and enjoying all of life's adventures together. Learning together what it means to live that perfectly balanced life... The happily ever-after as the fairy tales would say.

I stepped out of the box. Deciding to stop doing the same thing over and over, which was consistently running back. Belittling myself and begging PLEASE let me come home. How did I step out of the box? I finally listened to several of my friends who kept saying I should try online dating. I fought this idea for a long, long time. Nervous about the unknown. What if he's a freak? What if he's a serial killer? What if he's a liar? What if... What if... What if??? I mentioned previously the FB quote I posted, well here it is! "Sometimes you have to just take a chance in love and life. You can't live your life amongst a mound of "What IF's" You have to follow your ♥ and hope for the best!

The past couple weeks I have been happier than I can honestly say I have been in years... Maybe in my entire lifetime! Yet it has been a constant struggle too. Knowing what I feel in my ♥ of hearts, yet allowing the "what if's" to creep into my mind. Coupled by the overwhelming cautions, care and love I have been receiving from my friends. Not because they don't want me to be happy, only because they are true friends that care about me and my heart.

Do you believe in love at first sight... Okay so in today's world of technology, love at first chat? LOL, well here's the definition: Love at first sight: An instantaneous attraction to someone. Is it possible to fall head over heels or fall in love with someone that is only a picture, text message, chat online and a voice over the phone? Well I do believe in love at first sight, and luckily for me so does he :) Yes I hear everyone and appreciate all the comments. Believe me, even though you don't think I am listening, I am. Have I jumped off the deep end? Yeah a little LOL, however I am being cautious. Of course I want all the non-believers to be wrong. Looking forward to the neener-neener day ;) With today's social media things have changed a little. We meet different people in ways we are not accustomed to. And yes it does feel a bit strange. But there is nothing written anywhere, nor is there a hard fast rule that your first encounter has to be face to face.

Only time will tell... to be exact 288 hours and 35 minutes hahahahahaha. I will continue to look at the glass as half full. Remaining hopeful that I did meet my perfect match on match.com and this is just the beginning to a what is going to be two people working together to maintain a successful relationship for many years to come. It's easy to keep the faith, trust and believe that the possibilities are endless when you have a true Prince Charming giving you hope and insight to his needs, in his own words what his expectations are in life and love:
"Besides love, what one trait have you noticed in couples that have maintained a successful relationship for many years?"
My response, "Trust!" 
His response, "I don't think there is just one, I think there needs to be trust, laughter, honesty, passion...they really enjoy each other and laugh together and have fun together... it is trusting each other and being comfortable together... similar values and desires in life too...a willingness to share all of life's adventures...They work together as a team."
My response, "You said just one trait! LOL" 


This is only one of hundreds of conversations we have had. He is the perfect gentleman, passionate, caring and loving. Most important he cares about my kids too! So yeah I have jumped off the deep end. Wouldn't you? Hahahaha. I am also realistic and will agree he sounds too good to be true. If he shows up in San Diego on June 29th my first thought will be, See dreams can come true. If he doesn't show up I thank him for showing me that I can love again, it's not hopeless... And man that was a heck of a ride!!!

In the words of Tinkerbell :) "All you have to do is BELIEVE!!! All you need is faith, trust... and a little pixie dust."  Thanks for listening... that is all!!!

#20 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

Sometimes you just have to believe. 

To be certain, without reason. 

To have faith in the unseen. 

 Liz Betrey

#20 - Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right. FUNNY I decide to blog today... I am lovin' #20, seems quite appropriate at the moment. I am blessed and loved to have so many wonderful people in my life that look out for my best interests. I love each and every one of you. Thank you for your sincerity, concerns and love over the past week. I honestly never thought I would be this happy in  life again. I am so glad I closed that door from my past... Miracles really can come true, all it took was just one brief moment in time looking away from that door to find happiness in my life again. Smiling like there is no tomorrow, LOL my face actually hurts :)

They say, "Let go and let God fill your need." WOW did he!!! Other than being thankful for everyone in my life... I am thankful, blessed and hopeful for the future. All I have to say at this very moment in time is "I believe!" And I can't wait to see what else the future has to bring. To those of you that are skeptical, I completely understand. Hahaha and I am looking forward to the day I get to say," Neener-neener I was right!" Just kidding, I know your comments are from your heart and you're just looking out for me, my heart and my safety. I love each and everyone of you and trust me I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong. I will be the first to tell each and everyone of you that you were right. But don't hold your breath, you may turn blue ;) To those few of you that are true believers like me, thank you it means the world to me and Prince Charming! That is all...

#19 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

Once you realize that your past is just a story...it no longer has any power over you. -Robert Tew

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. One of my favorite quotes... “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”  That door has been partially closed for a long time. As of January my New Year resolution was to close the door all the way and to stop looking at it. Not to let certain people bring me down. I spent a lot of time thinking why should I feel miserable... sitting here waiting for the partially cracked door to open only when it suited him. He was happy, shouldn't I be too! The door was closed and I haven't looked back. I am better than that and I do DESERVE better than to be second best, or for lack of better terms, "Just a play toy when it suits him best!"

Funny the paths that life take us down... and when we least expect it! I haven't been looking for that NEW opened door. Just taking each day as it comes and then when I least expect it... That door flew open and the future looks so much brighter. I could not be happier! It amazes me how a "wink" in one brief moment, could open the door to a path that could lead you down the road to a future of happiness and dreams come true! PINCH me!!! Am I awake... Is this for real!?! Only one can hope, time will tell. This really could be happily ever after...

Remember there’s a PURPOSE to every FAILED relationship. The purpose isn’t to encourage you to lower your expectations, but to raise your standards. -Robert Tew