“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” - Marilyn Monroe

#14 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

 #14 - Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Is it really rejecting a new relationship because old ones didn't work!? Or is it you have learned from past lessons and know it is more important to look at the BIG picture because you just don't want to go through the pain again?

Like I said in #13 “Everything happens for a reason.... Always remember that whats meant to be will always find a way to come about.” Maybe looking at reality and the big picture is a good thing. You aren't necessarily rejecting relationships, you just know what may be fun for now is not going to end up being your happily ever after. The real lesson here is... How do you have fun and keep the emotions out of it!??? This has been the hardest lesson for me to learn. And to be quite honest I haven't mastered this one at all!!! I wonder did Alfred Lord Tennyson ever get his heart broken when he said, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Me thinks not! One step forward... Two steps back! Taking that plunge again always opens up the flood gates to potential heart ache. But in the long run it just makes you a better, stronger, and more loving person than you were in the past. So maybe it's not a broken heart... It's just growing pains!  Enuff said!!!

#13 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

"Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand."

Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Not so much that I am bad at getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. My biggest problem is once I have figured out it is wrong, I don't leave! Why? What makes me stick around for so long? So goes the story of my past two relationships, totaling twenty five years of my life?

Drum roll please... I was afraid of being ALONE!  Funny thing is once I decided it's ok to be alone, I will survive, I can stand up by myself and be happy!

I am surviving, I am happy LOL and I am not the slightest bit alone! I have me, my family and my friends that have been right there beside me always!!! And when I least expected it, it seems like maybe the right person may have walked through the door. Only time will tell.  It's not a race, there is no clock ticking away at the final moments. There is no rush!

One thing that has helped me get through all the pain over the past three years (besides the support and love from my family and  friends) is my favorite quote, “Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that whats meant to be will always find a way to come about.” This quote has got me through many a days and nights... kept me from finding that final edge. And I am really excited about what the future may bring with the potential possibilities and just plain having fun! If it's meant to be the love part will just happen naturally.

"Being single isn't bad. What is bad is giving up hope on finding that someone special!" 

#12 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

Sounds to me like diving in head first! I have been getting out of the comfort zone for a several months now. However for some reason the last few weeks I felt the need to run back in and hid. LOL I think in some weird way because I was starting to enjoy being out of my comfort zone, and feeling pretty damn comfortable outside of "the zone" I got scared, maybe I was doing something wrong. Will I ever feel 100% the right choice was to move on? Should I give up on "our" dreams? Really!? Listen to yourself, he gave up on "our" dreams a long time ago. Life is moving by so quickly... Snap out of it! I do need to get out there and experience it. "The Sky is the Limit" right!? Well here I go... And this time instead of just wading in I am going to dive head first. Awkward or not, life is to short not to enjoy it. And hey what's wrong with having a little or A LOT of FUN along the way!

It has been in front of me the whole time...

Definition - DAWN

1.The time each morning at which daylight first begins.  

2. A first appearance; a beginning; to develop; emerge.

"Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment--this day--is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day--each moment of this day--a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity." ~ Dan Custer

#11 of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself"

Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

Baby steps..  One step forward, two steps back! No one said it was going to be easy, but honestly I am trying. I have been getting out of the house more, hanging with the girlies. But trying to get in the swing of trying to meet or date someone after such a long time is not an easy thing. You see someone make a certain gesture and it reminds you of him. A special song, favorite restaurant, a funny joke. When something really great happens in your day and the first thing you want to do is pickup the phone and tell him all about it. Sigh... I am trying though, it's a slow process. You don't just walk away from 15 years of your life and think it will all be erased. I have made several hundred steps forward but I started over thinking it. Do I want to change? Do I want to give up the chase? Am I making the right decision to really move on? Yeah so I guess I have been idle the past few weeks, not sure if the decision to move on was the right one. Today was tough the almighty wonderful day of love... the "V" word - Valentine's Day. Will he call, maybe text or the surprise diamond necklace hidden in a box of chocolates like years gone by? Nope! Not a single word, but I think deep in my heart I knew that's how it would be this year. So move on it will be... Onward, upward and forward!!! No more looking back in hopes that maybe I will wake up and it will all have been a bad dream. I am a better person now, I am not afraid to confront the truth, the decision to get over it was the right one and no more trying to convince myself maybe I shouldn't look for that new opportunity or door opening into a brighter future. I am glad I stopped and stood idle for a moment to revisit my thoughts because now I know for sure I made the right decision! Happy Valentine's Day from my closest and dearest valentine of all ME!!!

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”